Don't Pop

Dear You,

You honestly do not know how much I've kept my feelings to myself. There are countless times wherein I wanted to burst but I just didn't; I wanted to scream but I just didn't; I wanted to cuss the whole world but I didn't. I kept my silence, my calm, my composition. I didn't want to burst the thin bubble inside me because I didn't want all the negative energy to come out. But then, I guess, I can't hold it any longer. I don't understand why you have to make "puna" all the time; why you'd have to exaggerate even the simplest things; why you'd have to bother so much on really small matters. God, I hate it when you exaggerate. YOU MAKE ME FEEL SUCKY ABOUT MYSELF. I know you don't want that, or maybe, you don't mean to. But unfortunately, that's what I am feeling everytime you nag me... and YES, I AM SICK OF IT.

Ironic, if I may say.. it's really ironic. On my part, I'd also claim it's unfair. You notice even the simplest error I commit-- even if it's of no actual use. But you, you make yourself feel like perfect. GOOOOD, I'm just so sick right now. I feel so sucky...... I just want to let it out. I guess it's the effect of all the "hinanakit" I've kept inside. I know one day I'm going to burst.. and this is just part one.

To be frank, I'm not good in expressing myself. You tell me I'm weak, but really, I believe I'm strong. I believe that I am strong because I'm holding back all the pain you've caused me... even if I know you are not aware of it. Many times have I already gotten pissed off-- yes many times-- but I don't even think you notice it. No, you might have never ever even notice it.

I hate this. I hate feeling like this. But really, I'm just soooooo pissed off. I need to let this out. It's too much, and I can't carry on like this.